Vagina Wax-The Epilogue

I'd like to start out by saying that all of your reactions (via e-mails and IMs) have made me realize that I was totally justified in being sceeved out.

Most importantly: I have nothing growing on my face and my eyebrows look great...crisis averted.

Apparently, this whole ordeal created quite a stir with my Mom and sister because (as my Mom told me this morning) they analyzed the situation after I hung up with them. My sister (who also frequents Li & Li nails when she comes to visit) says that she thinks that there are two vats of wax: one for face waxing and one for "private" waxing. I'm not entirely sure this is true. However, lets give Li & Li nails the benefit of the doubt here and say that yes, there are two vats of wax.

If that is true, and one goes to get their "privates" waxed, that means that "private" germs are being exchanged among customers. I have never gotten anything below the belt waxed. I do not plan to. However, for those of you who do, it may be worth requesting that you get a fresh batch of wax-otherwise, you risk your "privates" being contaminated.

I'll leave it there because I think that any further analysis may make me physically ill. I'd like to thank my Mom and sister for proving once again that they are the queens of sceeve.

Vagina Wax

One of the best things (I think) about living in Brooklyn is that manicures/pedicures and waxing is so cheap. For example, there is a place near us called Li & Li Nails that I have been going to since I stopped biting my nails in the 9th grade every other weekend when we came to visit my grandparents.

Why is this place so great? Well a manicure and pedicure Monday-Wednesday? 13.99. Wednesday-Sunday? 15.99. Manicure and Pedicure for men? $19.99 (Every man reading this should pencil in a time to come to Brooklyn to get this done. It is totally necessary). The women who work there are super nice, they have lots of nail polish selections (that's the color I got my nails tonight) and the pedicure chairs are new and are capable of massage...or kicking shit out of you depending on what setting you put it on.

So because Mondays kick my butt (International Politics and Statistics back to back) I often spend Monday nights beautifying myself. Today I got a manicure and got my eyebrows waxed. I've given up on pedicures for a few months since its getting cold and the only other person who sees my toes other than me is Wasp. I got there at about 5, parked my car at the meter out front ($.75 for the hour) and head in fully prepared to zone out while a perky Asian lady rubs my hands. What I was not prepared for was the discussion/event that I witnessed.

About 15 minutes after I arrive, I'm getting my nails done (eyebrows come later) and in walks a woman, about 52 years old. Frosted hair. Arched eyebrows a different color than said frosted hair. Baby blue velor jump suit (I wish I could say I was kidding). The women all seem to recognize her, and yell hello. We'll call her Annette.

Annette walks up to one of the woman who says "What you need?" Her response? Bikini wax. Pedicure. Manicure. In that order. So, Annette is taken to the So the tiny room with a tinted window where the waxing takes place. You can't see much through the window, but if you really stare you can figure out what is happening. Of course I am watching. She was in there for about 25 minutes, and during that time I saw her get up and lay down at least three times and also saw her legs in the air. She finishes, comes out (surprisingly looking like nothing had even happened) and gets ready for her pedicure. My manicure is finally finished and go back to get my eyebrows done. Now, for those of you who don't get waxed often, often times you lay down. What does this mean? I laid down where this woman's almost bare ass was.

As if this wasn't bad enough, I call my mom (Mrs. NLG) to tell her what had happened and she proceeded to gross me out even more. The ladies (and some of the guys) reading this will know that when you get anything waxed, they put the wax on with a popsicle stick of sorts, and they take the wax out of a giant vat. Now I'm sure that at fancy salons they use a different stick for every spread, however like I said we're talking cheap here in Brooklyn. So, its the same stick for a bunch of dips. Which means, as my mom pointed out, that this woman's vagina germs were put back into the vat of wax only to be put on MY FACE.

Think about that, loyal readers. I'll write again tomorrow and let you if I have syphilis growing on my face.

6 inches

I would never attempt to even put these on, much less commute/stand all day/walk in them. She looked great though!

Our Kitchen

This is what I found when I walked into our kitchen this evening. Wasp usually leaves one cabinet open when she is cooking/cleaning.

This evening however, she left the kitchen, turned the lights off, and retired to the living room to watch TV. She left five cabinets open. Its a good thing we love each other :)

Today, I Should Have Lit $95 on Fire

This morning, Wasp and I went downstairs to start our daily commute to work. We were both carrying garbage and were a little distracted. That is, until I looked across the street where my car was park and saw this -->


Now, from far away it kind of looked like something from Netflix. My first thought? "I'm asking for a Netflix subscription for Christmas! How do I have something already? And why would I get something on my windshield?"


My next thought? "Please, Baby Jesus do not let that be a ticket." Now, Wasp had gotten a ticket in late September for not moving her car on an alternate side parking day for $45. Annoying, but no big deal. I walk across the street and pull of the sheet, and there it is...my very first parking ticket. For $95.

Why $95 you may ask? Because I parked in front of a driveway. I know what you're thinking. How did you park in front of a driveway, how did you not see it? It was a midget driveway. Maybe you could park a pony there. And not even a full sized pony, one of those creepy toy ponies that they keep on farms for kids to look at.

My Mothers response when I told her I got a ticket? "Welcome to Brooklyn. They could have towed your car. Thank god they didn't...you and Wasp would have ended up on Law and Order SVU because you would have had to go to the impound lot. And bad things always happen there." At least I'd have a chance of meeting cutie Elliot Stabler :)

There's a button for it on the microwave

Tonight marked our second night of attempting to make sweet potatoes. They are quite a treat in our home, as we both love them and they remind us of that homey, autumn feeling we get from our parents' houses.

Our first time baking the potatoes took over an hour. I followed my mom's directions (450 degrees for 40 mins or so) and the middle of the potato was still hard. We ended up putting them in the microwave for 10 more minutes (after we took them in and out of the oven to check if they were done). So, needless to say, we had semi-uncooked sweet potatoes the first time.

This time, as suggested by NLG's mom (Mrs. NLG), we put them in the microwave for a few minutes first, then put them in the oven for 40 mins on 450 degrees. VOILA!


BUMPY POTATOES!

Nonetheless, they were delish. The micro-oven combo cook worked!

Mrs. NLG called NLG just as we were enjoying our potatoes. I hear a scream from the kitchen:

"MY MOM SAID WE CAN USE THE BUTTON ON THE MICROWAVE ENTITLED 'POTATO'!!!!!!"


I crumble to the floor in laughter. And now we know for next time.

Excalibur in the Village?

This week has been pretty busy for both of us...lots of work and paper writing! And after our "major clean" and swamp pudding episode, we had no major mishaps in our home (note: Wasp has not yet put her clothes away and mine started to build up again).


On my way home on Wednesday night though, I think I found Excalibur. Granted, it was not in the rock (or is it a stone?) that it was supposed to be; it was laying haphazardly on the ground outside my subway entrance...but there is was. It looked a lot like the picture attached (I tried to take a picture of it, but my crappy camera phone has not flash and it was already dark out). I'm not entirely sure who it belonged to as its owner seemed to be MIA and no one except to me seemed to even notice it was there...I guess that's what it means to live in New York.