NLG's New BLOG

It's fun!

Nine Months in the Ivy League.

It's a Tumblr and awesome, I might switch over.

Enjoy!

lolz!

I'm sorry I have to say something...

Hi all,
Haven't written in a while and this certainly isn't about apartments, but I am fuming.

Are you familiar with the recent Marie Claire post? If you're not, please at least glance at it.

I hope you're saying to yourself "are you f-ing kidding me?"

I just caught up on the story. (FYI: Twitter and blogs went nuts, people are outraged- all right after Maura Kelly posted her extremely intelligent post on a NATIONAL MAGAZINE'S WEBSITE.)

I really like the way Josh Shahryar from the Huffington Post put it. PLEASE take some time to check out his post.

Hey Maura- I hope you're fired. I'm appalled that MC has decided to stand by you. Your apology is bull s**t. As someone who is recovering from an eating disorder, what right do you have to insult others who MAY/MAY NOT have a similar condition!? Oh and I DARE you to replace "fat" with black/Asian/gay. See where that gets you...prejudice is prejudice. Congrats you won the prize.

Locked out?

Chat can help

Chapeau

I bought a cat. for me. and for the house. His name is Chapeau. He is the man of the house now.



He's been a great addition so far, and for my own amusement, I'd like to provide you with a list of his other names:

Hat
Cappy
Chap
Chat
Chit
Champois
Chitty
Cat
Kitty
Chaperone
Shampoo
Champignon
Champagne
Chardonnay
Charades
Bouffanda
Gants

This post will be updated regularly as people come up with great additions.

ew ew ew

Just so you know how she's doing, an email from NLG:

i have to go back to the fucking oral surgeon. i am so angry i could kill someone. and if you could see me, you would laugh. but you wouldn't, because that would mean you'd have be within 20 feet of me. which is apparently a bad thing, because THAT IS HOW BAD MY MOUTH/BREATH SMELLS FROM THE INFECTION.

As of today, her mouth is relatively healed as she traveled to LI to commence her LDR.

Other news, we had our housewarming, went well, except when we broke out into a dance party, the landlord called. fail. hopefully we will be model citizens from here on out though. We hung out outside and didn't cause any noise as far as we know.

Check out my Facebook for some housewarming and FI fun.

New Digs

A taste of the new neighborhood..
A Patisserie with "yum and brie everywhere"- roommate

Pancakes for "Fuel"

Retiring....?

So I've contemplated retiring this blog, as I, starting yesterday, do not live with NLG anymore. She has moved to Philadelphia to attend UPENN (wahooo!) and has just finished her masters at NYU. I miss her already and am still dealing with our annoying landlord.

We moved most of our things out this weekend, however I have to go back and clean up tonight and MOVE THE HEAVIEST DRESSER IN THE WORLD OUT TO THE CURB. Grrrrr...

To wrap it all up, on moving day is when we most especially needed a house husband. Luckily we had Tiki, our sometimes house husband, Juan (BF of NLG) and Ross, my NEW roommate's friend, helping us. All were sufficient and extremely perfect house husbands. What we would've done without them was cry.

I urge you to check out my new roommate's blog, as she has been recording her days in Brooklyn after her Euro adventure.

For now, I'd like you to check out our latest addition, for our porch, because they're windproof:

Who's excited for cold showers!?

The water has been turned on and off the past few days. Our land lady is always helpful and calls to let us know. Today it was turned off, then turned on, but it's not hot. She called me to tell me this and then I called Kate. We later IMed.

also
booo no hot water
me: i knowww
idk what to do
cold shower?
thoughts?
NLG: wash hair in sink
me: and like wash with a washcloth
the rest of us
HAHA
BLOG
NLG: ew ew ew

Winter Storm Advisory ?

Sooo, it was supposed to blizzard this weeekend. NLG and I were on LI, there was no blizzard...Brooklyn, maybe...still not sure.

It's supposed to really blizzard again tonight. Here's an email I just received. (Note the was she signs it.)

Please see link below:

http://www.weather.com/weather/today/Brooklyn+NY+11214?lswe=11214&from=searchbox_localwx

I talked to my aunt...apparently if its really going to snow like this there is a high chance that our tracks will freeze. We're going to need to get ourselves up a little earlier tomorrow to call 311/figure out what is going to happen if we can't get in.

Balls.
xo,
NLG

Another email I just received:

I am not excited. This has the potential to be the FAILEST commute in the HISTORY of commutes. What do you think the likelihood of school being closed is?

AND another:
Mrs. NLG said she was watching our news at home last night and they were talking about snow in terms of like "An inconvience, wear your boots, buy a snow blower" etc. and they said that this is going to be "Crippling". She said the entire northeast is under a giant purple circle on the screen which she is now calling "the circle of terror".

I wish I was kidding lol

Ugh, she is funny. They just keep getting better.

hahah great :) I'm glad I can provide some Tuesday morning humor about the potential TERROR filled snow storm that is coming our way. This better be epic, otherwise I'm going uptown to talk to Sam Champion about getting my hopes up. I bet he gets off on making us all excited/petrified for snow and then stealing it away from us. Jerk.

Dear Cablevision, we still hate you.

I can't gchat at work anymore, so NLG and I email constantly (as if we DON'T live together).

Backstory: For the 4th time since we've lived there, our internet has failed. The amount of time that we've been out of wireless has probably totaled close to two months.

WE HATE CABLEVISION.


Here's a sample of our email frenzy.

Me: cable guy is currently on our roof. i hate them. could not understand him.

NLG: i swear to god if this is not fixed i am going to go postal.

Me: i was thinking, today, or if this happens again, our threat (to cablevision) will be that we are going to get our landlord and neighborhood involved and file a suit against cablevision for monopolizing our cable/internet ability. then we should threaten to call the city and request that we have a different service provider.

in reality it's far fetched, but i'm so over it. and that's a scary threat

NLG: I don't think they will care, really. I'll call them today and deal with the bill situation. Can you send me their number?

A fire party

Wednesday was quite the eventful day in the apartment. Fire trucks and sirens woke NLG up at 6 am on her first day of class for the semester, and I returned home from work to see ConEd emergency vehicles lining our block, and all of the manholes open.



"Now you're going to have rats!"--mother of NLG) Sweet.

I guess it was no big thing. Roommate is a huge fan of 311 ("they're so helpful!") so she whipped them a call and they said the men were just working.

Good, next time there are fire trucks on my street, sirens, emergency vehicles and men under the road, I won't panic.



Since Wednesday was the day of fire, NLG decided to have a little celebration.

Preface: We are sitting in the living room, watching the Real World DC (we dig Andrew and his attempt to de-virginize himself), and we had just finished dinner. NLG pops out of her chair and says "Well! Time to make some popcorn for tomorrow, so it goes stale!"

You like stale popcorn?

I have known the girl for 5 years, lived with her for 5 months, I feel as if I should know this absurd fact.

Anyways. I am diddling around my room, picking things up, sort of getting ready for bed. I hear her walk over to the microwave, open it, and shout "WASP!" (well my real name actually, no we don't refer to each other as our pen names in the apartment.)

I run over and see smoke pouring out of the microwave, and cozying right up to the kitchen ceiling. As a reflex, I grab a dishcloth and start waving it in front of the smoke detector (we set it of regularly). NLG throws the firey bag of corn into the sink and runs the water. She opens the window.


Amazingly enough we didn't set the smoke alarm off. However, she burnt the inside of the microwave and nearly killed us both.



It was a combination of the laughing and thick (yes, dramatic) smoke covering the apartment, that made tears stream down our faces.




Quote of the evening: "Should we go to the hospital because of smoke inhalation??"

No, NLG, we don't have to go to the hospital, we are fine and laughing, however you've made our home permanently smell like burn.

Three days letter, the stench is still going strong.

Epilogue: Next morning I slept a little later, but not without a little interruption from the smoke detector, courtesy of NLG's egg white breakfast.

NYE

My New Year's Eve was one that I've never experienced, nor would like to ever again. I don't need to go into detail, but I would like to share with you my brother's comments on it.

Note: I partied with kids who thought they were better than me because I live in Brooklyn. (most, not all)
ALSO, "Nance News" is our mother.

"heard more about you new years adventure from Nance News. I just wanted to let you know that I too am interested in becoming a fincancial worker Manhattanite so that I may finally enjoy comfortable sweater vests beneath which I may wear my pretentious dress shirt, an option which may allow for me to then pop the collar... at my discretion. I would then like to remind you that you are a cheapskate who lives in Brooklyn, while I'm a money-savvy investor who lives in an apartment that is the same size as yours but twice as expensive, and who also drinks Coors Light like every other college kid on the planet. Wish me luck on my endeavor."

Sorry We've Been Lame...

Dear Readers,
First things first, we hope that you all had a very happy holiday! We're sorry that we've been totally lame (not to mention lazy) with not posting. While we haven't posted re: fun things in our lives in Brooklyn lately, things have in fact, been happening. We'll try to catch everyone up in the next days/weeks.
When I think about the last couple of weeks of December, and what I want to share with you, the first thing that comes to mind is not that me and Wasp had a Holiday Party with more than 20 people and that I cooked successfully for all of those people. It is not that I passed my first semester of graduate school. Nor is it that Brooklyn got more than 6 inches of snow my last weekend there, and that me, Wasp, and a few of our friends pretty much lived in our living room for more than 48 hours. No, loyal readers. What I want to tell you has to do nothing with either of us directly and everything to do with the photo at the beginning of this post.
The last week that I was working, my job had a holiday party on Wednesday. I only work from 12-5 on Wednesdays, and while I usually go to the library from 9-12 I didn't on this day, because I had a bag filled with pie and cookies (left over from the party). Clearly, I couldn't take pie to the library, especially not with all those angry, nervous undergraduates. So instead, I slept late and took my time. I even made myself eggs for breakfast. It was the start of what I assumed was going to be a pretty boring morning. That burning morning was shattered when I got on the subway, giant bag of desserts dragging behind me.
I got on the train, and seat myself at the window, rummaged through my bag, took out my Kindle (love!) and settled in for a calm commute. There weren't that many people on the train. But there was this man across the isle from me, wearing a pair of jeans, a leather jacket and tattoos all over his hands. Strange, I thought to myself. But not too crazy...so I went back to reading. Then, this man's cell phone rang. And this is the conversation that ensued.
Man: "Hello? Hi, Cathy. No, I can't talk right now, I have to go downtown to take care of some stuff. I can't talk to you right now." Pause. "Why? What do you mean why? I just got out of prison after 20 years. I spoke to you once every two weeks for those 20 years. I love you, but I need some space." Pause. "I've been traveling for seven hours! I have to go downtown! You've called me seven times! I'll be home soon".
Then the man hangs up. We go about two stops, and his phone rings again.
Man: "CRISTINA! Its Dad!" Pause. "I'm OUT! The last time I saw you were a BABY! And now your a grown woman!" Pause. "Hey, listen, while I was in prison, I got your name tattooed across my chest!" Pause. "Some guy in prison did it for me. Yeah, I can't remember his name...he was asthmatic." Pause. Hey listen, want to go get your feets (not a typo) done? There's $300 in the drawer in your mother's room. Go, take it. Get your feets done, get your face done, do whatever you want. I'll see you in a few hours. I love you".
The man hangs up. Then he calls the first woman back. Man: "Hey, its me. Listen, did you spend that $300? I hope not. I told Cristina she could have it to get her feets done." Pause. "Yeah, yeah, go with her, get your feets done. Wax whatever. Just go with her. Tell her everything we talked about telling her. I'll be home in a few hours." Pause. "I love you too. I'm so happy to be coming home."
Now, while I probably should have been a little bit freaked out (what kind of crime makes you go to prison for 20 years?) my heart actually warmed a little bit. It was the week before Christmas, and he got out of prison and was going home to his family, newly tattooed, but going home none the less.
There you have it. A little Christmas cheer from Brooklyn.

Merry Christmas, from Sears

A letter I received from NLG today. (In case you cannot deduce this, her family's refrigerator broke yesterday, two days before XMAS!)

Today, our main refridgerator broke (I say main because like all good Americans we have two). My dad called sears; got transferred a million times, and then gave the phone to me to wait on hold while he "tried to fix" (used loosely) the problem. Well, Sears told us that even though we are a warranty AND a service contract (which is a hundred and some odd dollars a year) they said that they were BOOKED for today CHRISTMAS EVE (WHO GETS SHIT FIXED ON CHRISTMAS EVE!? ALL of their appointments were booked and they had all been "scheduled weeks in advance") and that they coudln't give us an appointment until JANUARY 7! Well, needless to say, I yelled. And I said these magical words "I will never shop at Sears again". What did that do, you may ask?

Well, an hour later (ie 5 minutes ago) Kia from Sears called to say that she just got a very upsetting message (from the idiot with the Southern twank who I bitched at, I'm sure) that I would not shop at Sears again. She said she would try to get me in today and if she coudln't, would I be available for Saturday. WAIT Kia is on the phone with Lenore as we speak. Apparently they are most likely coming today.

Lesson learned: unless you are deal with the MORONS from Cabelvision, threatening to cease patronage equals SERVICE.

Love,
NLG

PS-this should prob go on the blog

Conversation of Boredom and SNOW

So, as you may or may not have heard, NYC got dumped on (well dumped is debatable, I'm from Rochester) and we have a foot of snow as of this morning. All day (and most of yesterday), me and NLG have done nothing but sit in the living room. We ate, worked, and entertained ourselves via YouTube in there.


Boyfriend of NLG also did some wonderful shoveling (I had done some earlier in the morning to take my friend to the airport).


Boyfriend of NLG: "Don't step on my toes!"
NLG: "I'm trying not to. I'm trying to avoid the filth" (as the chip bag crinkles.)

NLG to Boyfriend: "Sometimes I think Wasp is only my roommate because I date you."
Me: "Sometimes that's true."
NLG (looks at me, distraught): "That was hurtful."

Our Fradulent Advent Calendar

Hello Readers!
Sorry for the delay of this post...Thanksgiving week was pretty boring for us, as we weren't together/in our home and thus had no fun events to tell you all about.

I came back to Brooklyn on Sunday night and Wasp came home on Monday afternoon. I walked into our dining room on Monday night to find it filled with groceries (yay!) and more importantly...Christmas decorations.

Wasp brought us: a 6.5 feet tall Tree, a (horrid) needlepointed Christmas pillow, a wreath for our front door (which makes our entire hallway smell like winter) and perhaps most exciting...an Advent calendar (see above), filled with, as Wasp says "chocolate treats".

I'm not entirely sure that its an Advent calendar, and this is why (my parents are going to kill me for saying/writing this after 13 years of catholic school...I'm sorry in advance).

Advent is four weeks, right? Three purple candles and one pink? Or is it three pinks and a purple? I actually don't know...but. I do know that 7X4 is 28 (clearly I'm doing well in Statistics).

Our "Advent" calendar has 25 days. That is wrong. It is not Advent-y. It is a countdown to Christmas labeled falsely as an Advent calendar. Jesus would not be happy. Additionally, Wasp tried to tell me that there were no "religious figures" on the calendar (which is actually kind of a box that we taped to our front door) and that Jesus shouldn't be offended because they didn't involve "his people".

You can't see it very well in the picture, but that little blond girl with the red dress, warming her hands by the fire with Santa? She has wings. She is not a bird-girl, or Batman's pretty kid cousin. She is an Angel. If an Angel is not one of "Jesus' people" I'm not quite sure what is...therefore, Jesus would be offended. I'm thinking about taking the make believe Advent Christmas countdown of sin down when I get home today...I don't want bad Jesus luck in our home.

Vagina Wax-The Epilogue

I'd like to start out by saying that all of your reactions (via e-mails and IMs) have made me realize that I was totally justified in being sceeved out.

Most importantly: I have nothing growing on my face and my eyebrows look great...crisis averted.

Apparently, this whole ordeal created quite a stir with my Mom and sister because (as my Mom told me this morning) they analyzed the situation after I hung up with them. My sister (who also frequents Li & Li nails when she comes to visit) says that she thinks that there are two vats of wax: one for face waxing and one for "private" waxing. I'm not entirely sure this is true. However, lets give Li & Li nails the benefit of the doubt here and say that yes, there are two vats of wax.

If that is true, and one goes to get their "privates" waxed, that means that "private" germs are being exchanged among customers. I have never gotten anything below the belt waxed. I do not plan to. However, for those of you who do, it may be worth requesting that you get a fresh batch of wax-otherwise, you risk your "privates" being contaminated.

I'll leave it there because I think that any further analysis may make me physically ill. I'd like to thank my Mom and sister for proving once again that they are the queens of sceeve.

Vagina Wax

One of the best things (I think) about living in Brooklyn is that manicures/pedicures and waxing is so cheap. For example, there is a place near us called Li & Li Nails that I have been going to since I stopped biting my nails in the 9th grade every other weekend when we came to visit my grandparents.

Why is this place so great? Well a manicure and pedicure Monday-Wednesday? 13.99. Wednesday-Sunday? 15.99. Manicure and Pedicure for men? $19.99 (Every man reading this should pencil in a time to come to Brooklyn to get this done. It is totally necessary). The women who work there are super nice, they have lots of nail polish selections (that's the color I got my nails tonight) and the pedicure chairs are new and are capable of massage...or kicking shit out of you depending on what setting you put it on.

So because Mondays kick my butt (International Politics and Statistics back to back) I often spend Monday nights beautifying myself. Today I got a manicure and got my eyebrows waxed. I've given up on pedicures for a few months since its getting cold and the only other person who sees my toes other than me is Wasp. I got there at about 5, parked my car at the meter out front ($.75 for the hour) and head in fully prepared to zone out while a perky Asian lady rubs my hands. What I was not prepared for was the discussion/event that I witnessed.

About 15 minutes after I arrive, I'm getting my nails done (eyebrows come later) and in walks a woman, about 52 years old. Frosted hair. Arched eyebrows a different color than said frosted hair. Baby blue velor jump suit (I wish I could say I was kidding). The women all seem to recognize her, and yell hello. We'll call her Annette.

Annette walks up to one of the woman who says "What you need?" Her response? Bikini wax. Pedicure. Manicure. In that order. So, Annette is taken to the So the tiny room with a tinted window where the waxing takes place. You can't see much through the window, but if you really stare you can figure out what is happening. Of course I am watching. She was in there for about 25 minutes, and during that time I saw her get up and lay down at least three times and also saw her legs in the air. She finishes, comes out (surprisingly looking like nothing had even happened) and gets ready for her pedicure. My manicure is finally finished and go back to get my eyebrows done. Now, for those of you who don't get waxed often, often times you lay down. What does this mean? I laid down where this woman's almost bare ass was.

As if this wasn't bad enough, I call my mom (Mrs. NLG) to tell her what had happened and she proceeded to gross me out even more. The ladies (and some of the guys) reading this will know that when you get anything waxed, they put the wax on with a popsicle stick of sorts, and they take the wax out of a giant vat. Now I'm sure that at fancy salons they use a different stick for every spread, however like I said we're talking cheap here in Brooklyn. So, its the same stick for a bunch of dips. Which means, as my mom pointed out, that this woman's vagina germs were put back into the vat of wax only to be put on MY FACE.

Think about that, loyal readers. I'll write again tomorrow and let you if I have syphilis growing on my face.

6 inches

I would never attempt to even put these on, much less commute/stand all day/walk in them. She looked great though!

Our Kitchen

This is what I found when I walked into our kitchen this evening. Wasp usually leaves one cabinet open when she is cooking/cleaning.

This evening however, she left the kitchen, turned the lights off, and retired to the living room to watch TV. She left five cabinets open. Its a good thing we love each other :)