Who's excited for cold showers!?

The water has been turned on and off the past few days. Our land lady is always helpful and calls to let us know. Today it was turned off, then turned on, but it's not hot. She called me to tell me this and then I called Kate. We later IMed.

also
booo no hot water
me: i knowww
idk what to do
cold shower?
thoughts?
NLG: wash hair in sink
me: and like wash with a washcloth
the rest of us
HAHA
BLOG
NLG: ew ew ew

Winter Storm Advisory ?

Sooo, it was supposed to blizzard this weeekend. NLG and I were on LI, there was no blizzard...Brooklyn, maybe...still not sure.

It's supposed to really blizzard again tonight. Here's an email I just received. (Note the was she signs it.)

Please see link below:

http://www.weather.com/weather/today/Brooklyn+NY+11214?lswe=11214&from=searchbox_localwx

I talked to my aunt...apparently if its really going to snow like this there is a high chance that our tracks will freeze. We're going to need to get ourselves up a little earlier tomorrow to call 311/figure out what is going to happen if we can't get in.

Balls.
xo,
NLG

Another email I just received:

I am not excited. This has the potential to be the FAILEST commute in the HISTORY of commutes. What do you think the likelihood of school being closed is?

AND another:
Mrs. NLG said she was watching our news at home last night and they were talking about snow in terms of like "An inconvience, wear your boots, buy a snow blower" etc. and they said that this is going to be "Crippling". She said the entire northeast is under a giant purple circle on the screen which she is now calling "the circle of terror".

I wish I was kidding lol

Ugh, she is funny. They just keep getting better.

hahah great :) I'm glad I can provide some Tuesday morning humor about the potential TERROR filled snow storm that is coming our way. This better be epic, otherwise I'm going uptown to talk to Sam Champion about getting my hopes up. I bet he gets off on making us all excited/petrified for snow and then stealing it away from us. Jerk.

Dear Cablevision, we still hate you.

I can't gchat at work anymore, so NLG and I email constantly (as if we DON'T live together).

Backstory: For the 4th time since we've lived there, our internet has failed. The amount of time that we've been out of wireless has probably totaled close to two months.

WE HATE CABLEVISION.


Here's a sample of our email frenzy.

Me: cable guy is currently on our roof. i hate them. could not understand him.

NLG: i swear to god if this is not fixed i am going to go postal.

Me: i was thinking, today, or if this happens again, our threat (to cablevision) will be that we are going to get our landlord and neighborhood involved and file a suit against cablevision for monopolizing our cable/internet ability. then we should threaten to call the city and request that we have a different service provider.

in reality it's far fetched, but i'm so over it. and that's a scary threat

NLG: I don't think they will care, really. I'll call them today and deal with the bill situation. Can you send me their number?

A fire party

Wednesday was quite the eventful day in the apartment. Fire trucks and sirens woke NLG up at 6 am on her first day of class for the semester, and I returned home from work to see ConEd emergency vehicles lining our block, and all of the manholes open.



"Now you're going to have rats!"--mother of NLG) Sweet.

I guess it was no big thing. Roommate is a huge fan of 311 ("they're so helpful!") so she whipped them a call and they said the men were just working.

Good, next time there are fire trucks on my street, sirens, emergency vehicles and men under the road, I won't panic.



Since Wednesday was the day of fire, NLG decided to have a little celebration.

Preface: We are sitting in the living room, watching the Real World DC (we dig Andrew and his attempt to de-virginize himself), and we had just finished dinner. NLG pops out of her chair and says "Well! Time to make some popcorn for tomorrow, so it goes stale!"

You like stale popcorn?

I have known the girl for 5 years, lived with her for 5 months, I feel as if I should know this absurd fact.

Anyways. I am diddling around my room, picking things up, sort of getting ready for bed. I hear her walk over to the microwave, open it, and shout "WASP!" (well my real name actually, no we don't refer to each other as our pen names in the apartment.)

I run over and see smoke pouring out of the microwave, and cozying right up to the kitchen ceiling. As a reflex, I grab a dishcloth and start waving it in front of the smoke detector (we set it of regularly). NLG throws the firey bag of corn into the sink and runs the water. She opens the window.


Amazingly enough we didn't set the smoke alarm off. However, she burnt the inside of the microwave and nearly killed us both.



It was a combination of the laughing and thick (yes, dramatic) smoke covering the apartment, that made tears stream down our faces.




Quote of the evening: "Should we go to the hospital because of smoke inhalation??"

No, NLG, we don't have to go to the hospital, we are fine and laughing, however you've made our home permanently smell like burn.

Three days letter, the stench is still going strong.

Epilogue: Next morning I slept a little later, but not without a little interruption from the smoke detector, courtesy of NLG's egg white breakfast.

NYE

My New Year's Eve was one that I've never experienced, nor would like to ever again. I don't need to go into detail, but I would like to share with you my brother's comments on it.

Note: I partied with kids who thought they were better than me because I live in Brooklyn. (most, not all)
ALSO, "Nance News" is our mother.

"heard more about you new years adventure from Nance News. I just wanted to let you know that I too am interested in becoming a fincancial worker Manhattanite so that I may finally enjoy comfortable sweater vests beneath which I may wear my pretentious dress shirt, an option which may allow for me to then pop the collar... at my discretion. I would then like to remind you that you are a cheapskate who lives in Brooklyn, while I'm a money-savvy investor who lives in an apartment that is the same size as yours but twice as expensive, and who also drinks Coors Light like every other college kid on the planet. Wish me luck on my endeavor."

Sorry We've Been Lame...

Dear Readers,
First things first, we hope that you all had a very happy holiday! We're sorry that we've been totally lame (not to mention lazy) with not posting. While we haven't posted re: fun things in our lives in Brooklyn lately, things have in fact, been happening. We'll try to catch everyone up in the next days/weeks.
When I think about the last couple of weeks of December, and what I want to share with you, the first thing that comes to mind is not that me and Wasp had a Holiday Party with more than 20 people and that I cooked successfully for all of those people. It is not that I passed my first semester of graduate school. Nor is it that Brooklyn got more than 6 inches of snow my last weekend there, and that me, Wasp, and a few of our friends pretty much lived in our living room for more than 48 hours. No, loyal readers. What I want to tell you has to do nothing with either of us directly and everything to do with the photo at the beginning of this post.
The last week that I was working, my job had a holiday party on Wednesday. I only work from 12-5 on Wednesdays, and while I usually go to the library from 9-12 I didn't on this day, because I had a bag filled with pie and cookies (left over from the party). Clearly, I couldn't take pie to the library, especially not with all those angry, nervous undergraduates. So instead, I slept late and took my time. I even made myself eggs for breakfast. It was the start of what I assumed was going to be a pretty boring morning. That burning morning was shattered when I got on the subway, giant bag of desserts dragging behind me.
I got on the train, and seat myself at the window, rummaged through my bag, took out my Kindle (love!) and settled in for a calm commute. There weren't that many people on the train. But there was this man across the isle from me, wearing a pair of jeans, a leather jacket and tattoos all over his hands. Strange, I thought to myself. But not too crazy...so I went back to reading. Then, this man's cell phone rang. And this is the conversation that ensued.
Man: "Hello? Hi, Cathy. No, I can't talk right now, I have to go downtown to take care of some stuff. I can't talk to you right now." Pause. "Why? What do you mean why? I just got out of prison after 20 years. I spoke to you once every two weeks for those 20 years. I love you, but I need some space." Pause. "I've been traveling for seven hours! I have to go downtown! You've called me seven times! I'll be home soon".
Then the man hangs up. We go about two stops, and his phone rings again.
Man: "CRISTINA! Its Dad!" Pause. "I'm OUT! The last time I saw you were a BABY! And now your a grown woman!" Pause. "Hey, listen, while I was in prison, I got your name tattooed across my chest!" Pause. "Some guy in prison did it for me. Yeah, I can't remember his name...he was asthmatic." Pause. Hey listen, want to go get your feets (not a typo) done? There's $300 in the drawer in your mother's room. Go, take it. Get your feets done, get your face done, do whatever you want. I'll see you in a few hours. I love you".
The man hangs up. Then he calls the first woman back. Man: "Hey, its me. Listen, did you spend that $300? I hope not. I told Cristina she could have it to get her feets done." Pause. "Yeah, yeah, go with her, get your feets done. Wax whatever. Just go with her. Tell her everything we talked about telling her. I'll be home in a few hours." Pause. "I love you too. I'm so happy to be coming home."
Now, while I probably should have been a little bit freaked out (what kind of crime makes you go to prison for 20 years?) my heart actually warmed a little bit. It was the week before Christmas, and he got out of prison and was going home to his family, newly tattooed, but going home none the less.
There you have it. A little Christmas cheer from Brooklyn.

Merry Christmas, from Sears

A letter I received from NLG today. (In case you cannot deduce this, her family's refrigerator broke yesterday, two days before XMAS!)

Today, our main refridgerator broke (I say main because like all good Americans we have two). My dad called sears; got transferred a million times, and then gave the phone to me to wait on hold while he "tried to fix" (used loosely) the problem. Well, Sears told us that even though we are a warranty AND a service contract (which is a hundred and some odd dollars a year) they said that they were BOOKED for today CHRISTMAS EVE (WHO GETS SHIT FIXED ON CHRISTMAS EVE!? ALL of their appointments were booked and they had all been "scheduled weeks in advance") and that they coudln't give us an appointment until JANUARY 7! Well, needless to say, I yelled. And I said these magical words "I will never shop at Sears again". What did that do, you may ask?

Well, an hour later (ie 5 minutes ago) Kia from Sears called to say that she just got a very upsetting message (from the idiot with the Southern twank who I bitched at, I'm sure) that I would not shop at Sears again. She said she would try to get me in today and if she coudln't, would I be available for Saturday. WAIT Kia is on the phone with Lenore as we speak. Apparently they are most likely coming today.

Lesson learned: unless you are deal with the MORONS from Cabelvision, threatening to cease patronage equals SERVICE.

Love,
NLG

PS-this should prob go on the blog