One of the best things (I think) about living in Brooklyn is that manicures/pedicures and waxing is so cheap. For example, there is a place near us called Li & Li Nails that I have been going to since I stopped biting my nails in the 9th grade every other weekend when we came to visit my grandparents.
Why is this place so great? Well a manicure and pedicure Monday-Wednesday? 13.99. Wednesday-Sunday? 15.99. Manicure and Pedicure for men? $19.99 (Every man reading this should pencil in a time to come to Brooklyn to get this done. It is totally necessary). The women who work there are super nice, they have lots of nail polish selections (that's the color I got my nails tonight) and the pedicure chairs are new and are capable of massage...or kicking shit out of you depending on what setting you put it on.
So because Mondays kick my butt (International Politics and Statistics back to back) I often spend Monday nights beautifying myself. Today I got a manicure and got my eyebrows waxed. I've given up on pedicures for a few months since its getting cold and the only other person who sees my toes other than me is Wasp. I got there at about 5, parked my car at the meter out front ($.75 for the hour) and head in fully prepared to zone out while a perky Asian lady rubs my hands. What I was not prepared for was the discussion/event that I witnessed.
About 15 minutes after I arrive, I'm getting my nails done (eyebrows come later) and in walks a woman, about 52 years old. Frosted hair. Arched eyebrows a different color than said frosted hair. Baby blue velor jump suit (I wish I could say I was kidding). The women all seem to recognize her, and yell hello. We'll call her Annette.
Annette walks up to one of the woman who says "What you need?" Her response? Bikini wax. Pedicure. Manicure. In that order. So, Annette is taken to the So the tiny room with a tinted window where the waxing takes place. You can't see much through the window, but if you really stare you can figure out what is happening. Of course I am watching. She was in there for about 25 minutes, and during that time I saw her get up and lay down at least three times and also saw her legs in the air. She finishes, comes out (surprisingly looking like nothing had even happened) and gets ready for her pedicure. My manicure is finally finished and go back to get my eyebrows done. Now, for those of you who don't get waxed often, often times you lay down. What does this mean? I laid down where this woman's almost bare ass was.
As if this wasn't bad enough, I call my mom (Mrs. NLG) to tell her what had happened and she proceeded to gross me out even more. The ladies (and some of the guys) reading this will know that when you get anything waxed, they put the wax on with a popsicle stick of sorts, and they take the wax out of a giant vat. Now I'm sure that at fancy salons they use a different stick for every spread, however like I said we're talking cheap here in Brooklyn. So, its the same stick for a bunch of dips. Which means, as my mom pointed out, that this woman's vagina germs were put back into the vat of wax only to be put on MY FACE.
Think about that, loyal readers. I'll write again tomorrow and let you if I have syphilis growing on my face.
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